Roger Finds Changing Others Changed Him
Starting the Love INC Volunteer Journey
My wife Debbie is involved with Love INC with some projects, so I'm familiar with them from that. Additionally, my church, Compass, sponsors a couple of transitional homes for folks in need, where people are allowed to stay until they get their feet on the ground. Kelly, a member of our church, said Extra Mile needed coaches. Extra Mile is a financial coaching program for those struggling with their financial situation. I knew about Love INC and was impressed that they didn't just hand out cash or food but got involved with people's lives to help them get on their feet and stay on their feet.
Helping that Works, Rather than Helping that Hurts
I realized that people can actually enable the problems in other's lives. Even when people have compassion and the best of intentions trying to help someone, they can create new issues. My wife, Debbie and I read a couple of books that changed our perspective, When Helping Hurts and Toxic Charity. As a result, we became much more aware of programs that actually have positive long-term effects on changing people's lives. Love INC's approach is like the proverbial saying, "give a man a fish and he eats for a day - teach him to fish and he eats for a lifetime." The approach has the potential to change people's lives long-term. The Gospel* should be focused on all of life, so it is not just a church thing. It affects my budget, it affects the way I work, the way I raise my children and how I relate to my wife. It's a complete Gospel. Christ changes everything in my life. So combining practical financial issues with spiritual issues is a natural fit. That is why I work with Love INC. * Ed. note; "Gospel" lit. Good News, here refers to Jesus' charge to "love your neighbor as yourself". Many Love INC volunteers draw on their faith for inspiration and strength as they serve their neighbors in need. As the Apostle John's letter says, "Everyone that loves is born of God, and knows God..."
Learning from Those he Coached
I struggled thinking about all those in poverty or the overwhelming amount of people in distressing situations. A turning point came thinking about the story of the Good Samaritan. He was not out looking for injured people on the road, he just helped the one individual that he encountered. The good Samaritan wasn't trying to solve all the problems or help hundreds of people, or fix all poverty, or all those injured by thieves. He had one person to deal with. So I let God worry about the larger issues, he is in charge of that. But through a program like this, I do my part, one-on-one and address some of the issues. I can help just one person in their life. I am hoping and praying that God would use this program at Love INC to change this one life, and working with other volunteers, we can make a difference.
Can Anyone Coach?
I wasn't sure I was qualified to be an Extra Mile coach. I've managed my own budget and life but I never considered myself a financial advisor of any sort. Because Love INC has done an excellent job of organizing the program, I just needed to work through the workbook provided with the person I would be working with. Then it was just a matter of encouraging the person and helping work through issues. They also provided excellent training, so I felt very confident. All of that empowered me to take the step of faith and become a coach. Working with Extra Mile helped me see what life is like for those who suffer from financial problems. The causes of poverty are not just a lack of money. There is a whole mindset of poverty needing to be changed and people need to learn how to use money and to budget, not just spend it.
Working with Jesse
Jesse is an ideal person to work with. He works with In2action, and that gave him a great start. He also decided personally that he really wanted to change. For Extra Mile to work, the individual must want to change, and Jesse is determined to turn his life around. He really dug into the program. Many things are now habits for Jesse. I mentioned to him about keeping receipts, and he said that it is second nature to him and that he has a bunch in his wallet right now. The reason for a 16-week program helps people develop these habits.
Finding a Friend
In working with Jesse in the Extra Mile program, the relationship became a two-way street. We talked about financial matters, but I was also interested in him as a person. We got to know each other, he told me what his goals were, we became friends and talked about our lives. As we were completing the program Jesse said, "I'd like to keep in contact with you," and I said, "I would as well." We decided to do the Beyond Extra Mile program, and I hope to stay in contact with him for a long time. This is meaningful for both of us.
About Roger
Roger worked for KBIA for 42 years. Eventually, he became the station's Assistant Manager. He also taught audio production at the MU Department of Communications. Most importantly, he met his wife Debbie at KBIA, and they were married in 1975. They have two grown children and four grandchildren. They are very active in their church, Compass since 2011.